Negotiating: Silence Can Be Golden

There’s a basic rule of negotiating that the person who speaks first loses. For example, you’re offered a job at $75,000, and that sounds like a salary you could be more than happy with. Don’t jump right in and accept it. Be quiet for a bit. You might say something like “Uh, huh,” with a pensive intonation, just to be polite and let them know you heard them. In some cases, if the person offering the job really wants you, the silence might make him uncomfortable and he might fill the void with something beautiful like, “We could, of course, look at the benefits package and see what we could do there.” If, however, they also know about the keep-quiet rule or they’re not that needy, they can wait you out. At that point, start talking and go ahead and accept.

Still, it is worth trying. The silence should be only a few seconds.

Silence is no benefit, however, If the offer does not meet your requirements in terms of salary, benefits, job duties, or anything else. In that case, you have to speak up and make your terms known. Preface your requests with something like “I am really interested in this job” or “I was impressed with your company,” or “I enjoyed meeting with you and your staff and I think I would enjoy working with you.” Then add the “but….”

“As you know, I am making $75,000 now and would really need more incentive to move.”

“That’s quite a bit less than I had been expecting.”

“I was hoping to be president, so I am not sure I can accept the vice-presidency.”

If you cannot negotiate a higher salary, see if you can talk about benefits—more vacation, flexible hours, 401K additions.

Silence can help with other negotiations as well. Say you are at an impasse with your boss on whether an article idea is strong or not. You have made your point. She has made hers. Neither of you is ready to give. Rather than just cave, be quiet and give her a chance to cave first. It can work.